nicompoope .

2012-01-11T17:38:00.002+08:00

Hmm. Wanna delete this blog but my old posts reminds me of my memories. Sooo? Delete or not?

Argh.

2010-01-09T19:25:00.003+08:00

why? when i thought everything was right turns out to be so damn fucking wrong. i feel so low, and i don't wish to go any lower. that's how down i am. reading that sentence, just that sentence, made my heart go wild. it beat so hard and was equally painful. in fact it was much more hurtful than physical affliction. you hurt me bad, you really did. what's on your mind right now? i really wanna know. what had happened? what had you thought that actually could lead you feeling that way when i don't even thought the feeling could change? ya allah, i feel so demoralised all of a sudden. how can i ever face you next time? no use continuing when you know you ain't feeling the way it used to be. sigh.

Boo.

2010-01-08T17:00:00.002+08:00

thanks to EOS 1000D :)

:)

2010-01-02T17:32:00.001+08:00

2010!

2009-12-30T16:24:00.007+08:00

i don't want 2010 to arrive. i've no semangat for sec 4 especially for o levels. 2010 marks the year i can't meet him as well. it will be different from 2009. im so sad whenever i think about this. haiz, ya allah. can i make it for o's? or will i be stranded in my own thoughts in the exam hall just waiting for time to pass so i can leave that given seat and then few months when i take my results, it'll disappoint me for life? sigh, no matter what. i still need to go on. o levels is part and parcel of life nas. goooooooooooooooooooo! insyallah.

Sigh.

2009-12-15T21:18:00.006+08:00

okay, its one of those nights where i think deep, real deep. i hate being like this but sometimes i just have to let it all out. ah well, go on and read.

I may not be your first but maybe your last, or your only.
I love before and i may love again.
But i won't love anymore after i meet you cause it doesn't matter either ways, i still want you.
I'm not perfect- you aren’t either, and the two of us may never be perfect together.
But if i can make you laugh, cause you to think twice,
And admit to being human and making mistakes,
Hold onto me and give me the most you can.
I always think about you every second of the day.
But i will give you a part of me that i know you cannot break- my heart.
So don’t hurt me, don’t change me, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than i can give.
Smile when i make you happy.
Let me know when i make you mad
And miss me when i'm not there.
Never had i felt this way before.
You make me smile, you make me tear.
But deep inside i know its fair.
In this world of ours, no one ever understand what we feel, do and carry out.
What matters most, i got you and you got me.
And there's nothing anybody can do to that foundation we've made, that i promise you. :)

Sis.

2009-12-15T18:16:00.003+08:00

Camp.

2009-12-11T23:29:00.003+08:00

band camp was fun and exhausting but it was worth the practices. practiced in the afternoon till our mouth were aching and my lower lip is like torn, oww. learned a lot. passing out parade and performance was awesome as well. overall, band camp is kinda enjoyable. and there's no waking up in the middle of the night to do physical training. but not that i care cause i didnt fall asleep at all, grr. other bunks got sabotaged as the alumni poured powder & colgate onto them. lucky ours didnt, heh. ah well, finally im back. i miss my BED and i miss my rafi yang ~~gatal~~ sungguh :P

BLACK and GREEN!

Leaving.

2009-12-08T21:37:00.003+08:00

today and yesterday was like damn tiring uh. loyang pri, canossa convent pri, saint anthony canossian sec combined with loyang sec band. i had to tutor the girl from loyang pri. quite fun luh, she very obedient, hehe. the today, cannosa convent pri, casuarina pri and loyang pri combined with us. so two super fucking long days, fuh. then tomorrow till friday is like the band camp. like wow. no break man. having exchange programme with gan eng seng. i think i know one of the girl in the sax section. heh, hope they're friendly! i totally don't wanna go band camp. i have my reasons. AHHH ):

If the road ahead is not so easy
Love will lead the way for once
Like a guiding star
I'll be there for you if you should need me
You don't have to change a thing
But be just the way you are
Come with me and share the view
I'll help you see forever too
Hold me now, touch me now
I don't want to live without you

Luahan Hati.

2009-12-01T23:16:00.003+08:00

i've kept this for a long time. now to let it go.

first up to that someone whom i used to call my best friend. oh God, you really did change eh. i dunno, you seemed really sincere last time. but now, you're just different. i don't find any damn good reason why you hate me hanging out with a new friend i made and somehow is your friend as well. in fact, i knew him before i knew you and him were friends. i don't know what's gotten into you. you used to be my advisor, my listener and my friend whom i love the most even we're not the same gender but everything's changing. i'm disappointed in your behaviour, i really am. you may think i'm in the wrong but think again. if i were you, i wouldn't bother making such a big fuss over jealousy. no big deal if i had a new friend. its not like i ever left you or treated you different? yeah, i went to you for advises and went to others for happiness but do you realise which one is more important? when your friends approaching to you for advise, when they have a problem. it means they trust you and they want you to listen to them and they want you to feel them. but your perception was different. i'm not pretending and neither does he. we're both are still us. we do not pretend to like you or anything? we go on with our life and thought of ways just to get you to stop having bad thoughts about us. yet, we failed. but now i don't really give a shit about this. i've suffered enough and i don't want you to suffer more by thinking about this. if Allah leads our friendship to this, i'll accept it.

second one, to two friends who i exceptionally love. you two, i realise are always in your sorrows. no matter how hard i tried to cheer you guys up, my efforts were in vain. your happiness are like for a mean time. i dont want that, i want it to last. i want you two to wake up and remember the day before with a smile. not with frowns and tears. my heart pains when you two are trapped in your sadness and i can't help to do anything. i hate seeing you two like this and even hates it when people view you guys as girls who emo their way true. i dont accept that luh, you guys should know who i referring to. come on, you people have problems. and you deserve to be sad cause i know, you two think alot and the problems keep resurfacing into your mind and that cause a barrier for you two to head to the happier side. but insyallah, in time if you guys believe that everything will change for the better, i know everything will be fixed. you guys have your ups and downs together. i really hope i can make you two happy and then we'll hang out like we used to with smiles, not with frowns. may Allah help you two in life. i love you two :)

third and last, for you. we've met since sec 2! through friendster and then msn, that is. i wasn't good in talking on phones but you really wanted me to. but we didn't till this year. well, our friendship was really close and i really appreciate that. i was waiting everytime for your messages and i remembered we became real close during hari raya. we spent everyday messaging and exchanging stories which other. i enjoyed the company. we even talked about our love lives which now doesn't exist cause both parties are in a world of our own. maybe they both are also the ones who brought us together, hehe. we grew closer and closer and finally we met! i was so happy to see you on that day. time after time, i remembered you were mad at me. boy was i sad. but i went on with life, trying to erase you from my mind but i failed to. you were always there for me with your messages and all. i've never said this before, but though we're not official during that time, i felt that we were. and then alhamdullilah, you came through. you're back and i was happy. and then we became one after much consideration and never had i regretted that day, 4th of november. i was smiling everyday waking up, reading your messages. cause that made my day. yeah, we went through a lot and i know we'll go through more. insyallah with much patience and perserverance, i believe we will go through every obstacle and stay strong. every time we spent time with each other, i'll remember it like it was just a day ago. we scolded each other and we both made each other sad but nevertheless our love kept going strong. i realise you're the one, really. everyone may say this and all but i really believe in this, i really do. and i love you very much :)

wah, finally. i feel better, this is really like saying everything out. been long since i did this, i never had the courage to. but now, i do. i want everything to change for the better and i can't believe i teared while typing this out.

^^

2009-11-25T21:21:00.002+08:00

And as i look into your eyes
I see and angel in disguise
Sent from God above
For me to love
To hold and idolise

And as i hold your body near
I'll see this month through to a year
And then forever on
Till life is gone
I'll keep your loving near

And no i've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All i have to do
Is follow you
To lighten off my load

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so i can breathe
Your open doors are closed
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so i stand tall
Just like a rose

And when i feel like hope is gone
You give me strength to carry one
Each time i look at you
There's something new
To keep our loving strong

I hear you whisper in my ear
All of the words i long to hear
Of how you'll always be
Here next to me
To wipe away my tears

And no i've finally found my way
To lead me down this lonely road
All i have to do
Is follow you
To lighten off my load

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so i can breathe
Your open doors are closed
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so i stand tall
Just like a rose

And though the seasons changed
Our love remains the same
You face the thunder
When the sunshine turns to rain
Just like a rose

You treat me like a rose
You give me room to grow
You shone the light of love on me
And gave me air so i can breathe
Your opened doors are closed
In a world where anything goes
You give me strength so i stand tall
Within this bed of earth
Just like a rose

Family <3

2009-11-23T20:23:00.006+08:00

another post regarding saturday & sunday. spent going to jemputan. twice for both days. didn't get to eat much, everyone was rushing rushing. but finally at night got to eat. guess how long i had to suffer with no food! k tak perlu eh nas. sunday was kakak's birthday. wow, she's 18 and she's shorter than me. haha, k bastard. and she got swensens + new phone! waaaah, >:(

:)

2009-11-23T19:50:00.004+08:00

today was practically awesome. met jun & ary at downtown to record the video. then head to whitesands with ary and then we separate ways. went to the library, been long since i've been there and waited for time to pass. finally rafi came. so we were thinking of where to head to since its raining, yet AGAIN. then we go makan at Ananas Cafe. cheap food and very nice uh :D then go somewhere somewhere. and finally back home. today rafi make me malu many times luh D: ah well, haha.

Miss.

2009-11-19T20:46:00.006+08:00

today head to bedok with jun and xj. went for breakfast at KFC first. one bangla and one cina guy kept staring at jun and me. mintak kene penampar sia. then went library. study e maths. alhamdullilah, can understand what im learning. then head to tampines meet my raaaaaafi! then went ehub. ordered tix, watch 2012 again. i enjoyed it cause, *ehem*. k tak perlu bilang di sini. then went to Ananas Cafe, eat cheap cheap food. then we walked home after that. damn i MISS you banyak2 :(

Ketika cinta yang
Yakini diriku hadir dalam hariku
Tak mungkin ku berpaling
Meninggalkan ketulusan

Walau nanti kau takkan pernah bersamaku lagi
Atau ku telah tiada takkan kembali

Kubangga kubisa
Mencurahkan rasa
Yang dahulu tak pernah ada
Kan ku beri cinta
Yang selalu terjaga
Indah dan abadi adanya

Walau nanti kau takkan pernah bersamaku lagi
Atau ku telah tiada takkan kembali

Kubangga kubisa
Mencurahkan rasa
Yang dahulu tak pernah ada
Kan ku beri cinta
Yang selalu terjaga
Indah dan abadi adanya

Kubangga kubisa
Mencurahkan rasa
Yang dahulu tak pernah ada

Performance.

2009-11-17T16:15:00.003+08:00

done with the performance at French School. enjoyable uh. a lot of hot eurasian guys and the girls were having fun observing them but not me, haha. i have my rafi. ah well. today was really depressing. im tired of all this. when will it stop? :/ and i dunno why, but i look forward to thursday. all i want is spend more time with him, heh. oh yeah, these three days was supposed to attend SC camp and train the junior SC. being me, im so lazy and i don't even bother about council. if any councillors are reading this, i apologise.

Di dirimu aku menemukan
Yang mencintaiku
Yang menyayangiku
Di dirimu aku ketakutan
Kau biarkanku
Kau tinggalkanku

Bila kamu tak lagi denganku
Ku tak tahu apa ‘tuk jalani hidupku
Bila memang kau pergi dariku
Ku tak ada lagi di dunia ini

Mengertikah kau siang malamku
Dan tangis tawaku
Kau semua hidupku
Pandang aku pandanglah hatiku
Aku tak mampu melangkah tanpamu

Bukan ku tak punya harga diri
Tapi dirimu begitu berarti
Kaulah nafasku engkau harga diriku
Mengerti aku

For you.

2009-11-15T11:47:00.000+08:00

(:

You're the direction I follow to get home
When I feel like I can't go on, you tell me to go
And it's like I can't feel a thing without you around
And don't mind me if I get weak in the knees
'Cause you have that effect on me, you do

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

Months going strong now, and no goodbye
Unconditional, unoriginal
Always by my side
Meant to be together
Meant for no one but each other
You love me, I love you harder so

Everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me a hint
So please, give me a lesson on how to steal, steal a heart
As fast as you stole mine, as you stole mine

Oh and everything you say
Every time we kiss, I can't think straight
But I'm okay
And I can't think of anybody else
Who I hate to miss as much as I hate missing you

So please, give me a hint
So please, just take my hand.

Rafi <3

2009-11-10T18:58:00.004+08:00

im blogging because someone asked me too, *ehem*. hee, but not in details cause thats for me to know and for you people (if you're busybody :P) to find out. today, met jun & xj. went to library. sat and looked thru the a maths paper while jun explained certain stuffs. kinda understood, thanks uh. went out and met my rafi with his omar. then sent him and we went off somewhere. ah well, thanks uh for today. i never smiled this much and i know you know why eh :D k dah. happy? hehe.

Science Centre.

2009-11-07T14:32:00.010+08:00

right, guess imma blog now while waiting for facebook pictures to load. well, 6th of november, an awesome day! went out with nad, jun, dee, ary, andru to science centre. i guess going there when you're a teenager is much more enjoyable since you know what you're seeing unlike my primary school days, i dont even know all those science stuffs. well, all of us behaved like as if we've not gone there and in other words, behaved in childish manner. ah well, its all in the name of fun. oh yeah, 4th of november <3 hmm, some photos here, more in facebook ^^ uhh, another thing, the next time i'll be blogging, is the next time i have something fun to talk about, which may be few days/weeks/months from now. ah well, im lazy, what do you expect huh? -.^

Despair.

2009-10-27T14:16:00.003+08:00

results i kinda flunked my results badly. came home with my dead face and mak was like, 'eh why like no mood? results eh?' i ignored her query, didn't wanna disappoint her any further but as far as i can see, mother knows best. oh God, help me promote :( well, got this Canon EOS 1000D. damn freaking awesome lah. hmm, came up with a song of my own but no lyrics and nad came and helped me out since she's good with the words and im good with the rhythm, so why not we combined? hehe, fun stuff. these days have been spent hearing malay songs. haiyo. i hate blogging now, i don't know why.

Ku cuba pejam mata tapi tak terlena,
Keranaku masih teringat pada mu,
Begitu payah nya nak ku melupakan,
Pernah kah kau memikirkan oh sayang..

Finally.

2009-10-21T11:35:00.003+08:00

mom asked me to change clothes and accompany her to NTUC but she still lay on the sofa, reading newspaper. HAIYO. well as you can see, finally my computer is working! i hope when im using this comp, the monitor wont shut off again like it used to. well, exams are amazingly over a week ago but the feeling of getting the results will soon lead to despair. damn, im scared. ah well. yesterday went cycling with nad, hud, dee, syak. was kinda fun despite some stuffs happening. and i think im sick again. mind you, this flu has been happening and not been cured for over 3 weeks already. HEH.

well believe it or not, i realised ive been going around on my own almost everyday. roaming pasir ris, not knowing where to go. sometimes i head to pasir ris beach. looking out at the ocean with my songs on makes me feel dead. i don't know why, i just do feel dead. the more i stand near the water, the more i felt as though its pulling me. then i walked around, sat around, looking and observing people with my wicked thoughts. though its fun with a companion, being alone actually makes you feel great because you dont have to force a smile or think of a conversation to talk to. you just have to be yourself. awesome eh.

Exams.

2009-10-07T16:55:00.004+08:00

oh my, been long since ive touched this keyboard buttons! had malay/english paper 2. was really managable. alhamdullilah. now for a/e maths & pure sciences. GO NAS! :D

Bash.

2009-09-29T18:21:00.006+08:00

today is awesome shit. duty, boring as per normal. had PE. fun time playing floorball! had a great time laughing and falling down. then was english. talks about exam while i wrote poetry about someone, heh. then mother tongue. was okay, talk about exam as well while me & sak discuss for jalan raya. then recess, made card for amirul. then maths. was okay, still could not understand Trigonometric Functions but better during the tutorial that ms juwaidah had for us. i so want ms juwaidah compared to raj. i understand her methods better, damn. then suddenly heard amirul kena bash with water. then i ran to central to buy flour. then the guys bashed him while me & nad sat one place. then they bought flour & eggs. rabak siah amirul. went home after that. i realized that people do change no matter if the person's your close friend or not. damn.

Depressed.

2009-09-28T23:08:00.004+08:00

im blogging for the second time. i just don't know why. letting it all out, but not directly. well, sigh. all this stuffs are not only making me sick in the head, but sick in the heart as well. i felt a sharp pain in it whenever i noticed something problematic rising. all these problems made up a big mountain on top of my small brain. people didnt know. people thought i could go on with life. carefree as ever. but no, i'm not. i suffer and only God knows how much pain i go through. i know, people got problems as well. i chose not to show every single emotion of mine cause it'll hurt everyone more. i've cause people to have bad feelings towards me. not that i didnt realise, i do. its just, i can't control my speech. i had alot on my mind and this caused me to not think that properly. i apologise, i really do. i believe every problems i had and will have makes me a better and stronger person even if it was resolved or not. therefore, from this belief, i received alot of oncoming problems. i just be thankful to God for this cause i know, everything he throws to me and everytime i suffer, its still Him who brings me out of it. i may sound senseless when im saying this but deep down i know im speaking my heart out. eventhough you guys dont understand, what matters most is i do and i had let it all out. this sounds even stupid, everytime i see my loved ones in their sorrows, i create a scar on me, just to kill the pain i had inside me. i'm serious, so just imagine how much scars i contain. im gonna watch my mouth from now. and im not gonna be the one organising no more nor will i be the one talking much. i'm sorry for the change but its time. the feeling of leaving everybody is getting stronger beneath my soul. i feel like as if God's pulling me more and more. well, now im gonna go all bonkers on my bed which also means, listening to sad and depressing songs to let it all flow through me.

Random.

2009-09-28T21:43:00.005+08:00

oh man. exams arriving but i just haven't got the mood. mum's been bugging me to study and i gave her the 'dead' face. nas, set your focus! well, today was pretty boring. had CD. did group work with jun, sak, rhazin. it became fun when sak told us ghost stories from different movies. and omg, i cant remember a thing until recess. well, we didnt makan instead we studied at foyer. thats when i saw someone. gosh, brought back memories. didn't even look. sighs. then went for physics. group work, fun cause of jokes. then went for maths. test, bah, failure. head to downtown to get my mcspicy. then head back school for geography. sigh, i hate to say this, but i do ~~miss~~ you. hari raya pictures, more in facebook i guess.

Down.

2009-09-25T16:54:00.002+08:00

school, making me frust more. exams coming, results sucks, what to do? i was born to lose. stuffs happen, i don't wish to think about it. but the more i put aside the thoughts, the more it came back to me. well yesterday, someone talked to me for the very first time. hell yeah, i'm happy and pleased. but somehow today, something changed my perspective of him. oh man, i'm afraid to fall for you anymore. i hate to repeat the past. i thought you were the one and somehow something showed me too, but somehow i guess i was wrong, yet again. sighs, what to do with this life im leading? everyone's so happy and carefree, im hoping to be like them, but everything turns out fake and wrong. im trying and trying but still could not succeed. oh God, please help me. i asked for a negative situation to happen to me last time and you granted it. now please, make me paralyzed so i won't have to see the ones i love anymore. dying seems much more less painful than not being able to do anything when you're still living. God, please grant my desire. just THAT desire.

Hari Raya.

2009-09-22T16:03:00.003+08:00

woah, didnt blogged for long. busy with hari raya. first day walked till 3am in the morning and suddenly the next day, woke up early. not much rest. then second day, reached around 11. then today had to go school. tired much. this year hari raya was not really enthusiast since its during schooling days and working days. bleh. guess i'll just enjoy in while it lasts. and thank god, first day my collection reached $105! woohoo, yesterday jalan didnt count and today also. just waiting for everyone to get ready and off to eat & collect some more money! *big smiles*

Bleh.

2009-09-16T21:46:00.005+08:00

well, school today was pretty much fine. im trying to act as if nothing's happen. i'll make a move soon, when the time's right. chem was okay, did new chapter. could understand, thank god. then english. summary again, boring to the max. physics then. new chapter too but the lesson was better, i guess. recess, most fun. sat and suddenly me, jun, nad, sak, syak started playing with $0.50 coins. hehe. we were challenging who's coin drop first and who can make a collision with another coin. childish much, but thats how we find happiness. geo, cher didnt come. maths, raj taught curves & circles. we didnt know he started alr but suddenly he said, 'thats the end of the topic.' everyone was cheering but that followed up with shocked comments. bleh. didn't went band, accompanied mom and kakak but stuffs. things are getting better with someone. but not the one i care for. its okay, i'll be patient.

Have you ever been in love?
Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you,
then one person, no different from any other person, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They did something dumb one day, like smile at you,
and then your life isn't your own anymore.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness,
so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends'
turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
Not just in the mind.
It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.
I hate love.

Poem.

2009-09-15T20:07:00.002+08:00

This is for you, my best friend,
The one person I can tell my soul to.
Who can relate to me like no other.
Who I can laugh with to no extents,
Who can help me with the problems of my life.
Never have you turned your back on me.
Or told me I wasn’t good enough.
Or let me down.
I don’t think you know what that means to me.
You go through a lot and you still have time for me.
And I love you for listening even when you inside are dying.
And I look up to you because you are strong and caring.
Even though you don’t think you are.
And I hope you know that I am always here.
To listen to you laugh and help.
In all the ways that I can.
And I will try to be at least half the friend you are to me.
I hope you know I would not be the person I am today,
Without you, my best friend.
I don't ever wanna lose someone like you :'(

Madness.

2009-09-14T17:15:00.004+08:00

school today was pretty much a bore. wanted to see someone but apparently didn't get to, ah well. day started off with CD. boring to the max thanks to quek's ideas. then was geo which turned into a free period since tok didn't came. so, sat with the people and started to talk crap. then was mother tongue. great, had a fun time laughing. then recess, sat at foyer and kind of thought about the cartoon, Danny & Daddy. the cartoonwhere Danny drew and asked his father to guess and if its wrong he'll say, 'No, Daddy No! *laughs* 'physics, failed my test. gah. didn't listen to soh but played tic tac toe marathon for up to three pages full with rhazin. awesome. i kept winning so rhazin kinda got frustrated, heh. then maths. didnt do anything, practiced questions. counsil meeting after that. about OBS thingy. im never gonna get selected thanks to my history of quitting, not that i care though. slacked at Lycool. watched Lord Of The Rings and had pillow fight with jun and nad. madness, *laughs*

There are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept,
things we don't want to know but have to learn,
and people we can't live without but have to let go.

Time.

2009-09-11T12:45:00.004+08:00

been sleeping late, messaging my friend till 4am in the morning and wake up at 5am for pre-dawn meal. crazy nas. well, ramadan is days away from ending and hari raya is days away from approaching. time really flies THAT fast. real scary. i remembered on the first day of fasting, i was hoping ramadan can end faster and i was like, 'sheesh, only first day! how slow can time get.' but i was wrong and i take that back. time was really fast. sighs, now i wish time could go slower. im gonna miss waking up in the morning, fasting, holding back your need for food. but then again, HARI RAYA! all those food and money. hehe, i guess, either way, all the muslim won't lose. God willing, next year's ramadan will come pretty fast and im sure of that.

Why.

2009-09-10T18:13:00.004+08:00

WHY NAS WHY?! WHY DOES THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN TODAY?! you suck nas, sighs.

despite today, yesterday went pretty well. went to study at airport then apparently wasted time while waiting for break fast by taking pictures. then finally, we break our fast at Popeyes. yum. i love the people above plus sakina, hehe.

Band.

2009-09-08T14:23:00.005+08:00

loyang SO rocked VCH on saturday! proud of you guys man. well, was not allowed to use the computer these days, heck. yesterday cleaned my room again from 2.30 to 7.10 and now its looking clean and big as ever! am proud of myself, *laughs* went for terawih, slacked and reached home close to 11. tomorrow going study & break fast with friends, yay.

i found my friend whom i can talk to and he truly understands me. who says guys can't be your adviser cum listening partner? but still, God is the one whom i usually confide to.
*random thought*

Report.

2009-09-04T23:15:00.003+08:00

didnt blogged yesterday. went to school library and watched Hole. kinda nice to watch. then head home and break fast. after that, head to terawih and slacked around with jun, dee and amirul until 10plus. slept at around 1, finishing homework. well, today. nothing much happened. didnt go for SC meeting, cant be bothered. got report book. at least i improved in my english and pure sciences. but both e & a maths came to a disaster. very demoralising seeing 2 F9s on top of each other, if you know what i mean. buck up nas. study dating with the group on wednesday as well as breaking fast together. i just know we're gonna have fun fun fun. went to terawih with jun and nad since dee was too tired. slacked again. ah well, tomorrow's JBF. have fun my juniors!

Photo.

2009-09-02T17:08:00.005+08:00

ew, the scanner sound sounds like the dentist drilling into my teeth. k, random. changed my blogskin, so bored, thats why. watching orphan online since can't watch it in cinemas, seemed pretty fun. my my, im so hungry! ok so, theres nothing for me to blab about so imma post the class photos.

Clean.

2009-09-01T17:35:00.004+08:00

yesterday, teachers day. msged ms wee & had a funny conversation with her for awhile. the teachers danced and ms aida looked damn cute. hehes. head to prps, didnt do anything since all of us were fasting. well today, out of boredom, i cleaned my room from 1pm to almost 4pm. suffered backaches, so kinda stopped and went on the computer. seriously, my room looks much worse than a pig sty. papers, bags, books, plastics are all clattered on the floor waiting to be organized. hehes, 1 week holidays will be spent cleaning. well so, im pretty much starving now. today going terawih with my friends, can't wait. i love praying together with a group of people, *laughs*

Help.

2009-08-28T18:23:00.007+08:00

today! chemistry, continued experiment. kinda fun and the goggles still itches my nose. got back the copper sulphate crystals. then mother tongue, watched bujang lapok! hilarious. then social studies, test. did fine i guess, just the last question. maths after recess. so boring, went thru e maths corrections. damn, i think im gonna receive a big fat zero. went for CIP after that. head to simei, then expo. got rid of 10 yellow ribbons and the amount donated couldnt be count since it was being put inside. now i know the true culture of some singaporeans, see a representative, walked the long way to avoid being asked to donate. sheesh. oh yeah, mom cooked mutton chop today! *jumps for joy and drools*

School.

2009-08-27T20:14:00.006+08:00

school today! ss went through test paper for tomorrow. chemistry, experiment again. so fun, but smelly. and the huge goggles made my nose itch. then was physics. mr soh didnt come, did kinematics worksheet. then recess, sat down at parade square. was extremely starving so practically went bonkers. no idea why. then had english. ms nooraini didnt come either, revised for e maths test. then e emaths! what the fish, i dunno how to do most of it. yes, i've gone completely retarded for e emaths. i grumbled as though i was forced to wear pink. doing it made me feel demoralised. frustrated to the max seh! went to library cyberpoint, did geography project. slacked around, watched movie then went to sit at the library. accompanied hasif to wait for his missing phone then all of us head home. quite fun, had a fantastic time laughing my hungriness away. and break fast! my most favourite time of the day until hari raya *big smiles* oh, tomorrow having damn CIP and then saturday having workshop. pretty busy eh. hmm, i hope monday can head to pasir ris primary! but sadly can't eat the canteen food! :(

Laugh.

2009-08-26T21:23:00.005+08:00

i love this, *laughs*

school was a bore. the only fun i had was during chemistry lesson. did experiment with the acids and all. made my fingers itch, sheesh. then had eng. went to lab, slack around, didnt do work. then went for physics. studied for chemistry restest. recess, went to do something confidential. then head to geo. went thru ws and head for maths. did 2 exercises and then it was free period. went for retest, fine i guess. then band. didnt play much, only the juniors. spent my day laughing, no idea why.

Sick.

2009-08-25T14:43:00.004+08:00

oh man, ive got stomach flu plus fever. been vomitting 5 times already. luckilly it subsided, just a pain in the stomach, thats all. sunday, had to skip religious class again. slept the whole day and had to break my fast which was so sad. shucks. oh well, tomorrow im back in school! just not as hyper, hehe. ive nothing to blog about anyway. i just wanna go terawih with my friends soon. weeeee.

love, nas[:

2009-08-21T20:43:00.004+08:00

well, yesterday was damn fun. cant remember what happened during school, only after school. i had to go the dentist for another appointment since my two teeth got hole. so she helped me drill and fill it. oh my fcuk, it hurts like, wow! i'd rather have my tooth extracted since they numb it first. sheesh. now i feel weird when i chew food or swallow cold ice water. well, everyone waited for my dental. so nice of you guys, hehe. then we started playing soccer for awhile. then nad & sak went to nad's home. while the rest of us continued playing. then headed to the cinema and watch UP! last movie before exam. then head home around 8. today, was pretty short. so far, my english & malay marks are pretty fine. i hope the rest go well. so, after school had band. didnt play since got oral. instead watch videos and did drills. went central, makan and head home. tomorrow puasa! to all my islam friends, SELAMAT BERPUASA, BANYAKKAN IBADAH YE.

love, nas[:

2009-08-18T22:21:00.003+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY NADIRAH!

today, started with duty. went up to class kinda early, but heck. i was alone, so whatever. read book, which i totally didnt understand and dont bother to. then had PE. was fun, guys vs girls again. then had english in lab. aircon! then was malay. fun as well. really relaxing. then was recess, pissed off for awhile but heck. then e maths, kinda okay. but just could not concentrate. ah well. went to plan bash. then everything happens just like that. pretty fun. had a great time pushing/pulling/jumping with hudah and falling to the grass everytime. hyper like what. then jun, jid, dee, sak head home. so i went to play swaveboard with arun, xj, ys. they helped me, awesome times. then some damn singaporean women and her child came cycling.

women : you know whats this track for?
me : obviously.
women : so?
me : so?

then she cycled away. we continued playing, thought she wouldnt come back. but no, both bitches came back. frustrated to the max. i don't know what happened to me. but i apparently talked back to them! wow. this is what frustration on something can occur. so she demanded for our school, name, class. actually, for MINE. since she added, 'the guys, im happy with. but the girl, your attiude really.. ' i was really irritated by the damn lecture by both mom & daughter. sucks balls. then it ended when i fake being sincere when apologising to them. seems like its the only way. stupid man. sighs. whats wrong with me?! gah. oh, got more pictures but i forgot to transfer! man, so forgetful. tomorrow alright?

love, nas[:

2009-08-17T23:01:00.004+08:00

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
omg, someone's blog, or should i say, the GAY's blog, made me laughed really loud! i mean, wow. i can spell snaibsel too you know. and sdratsab too. awesome shit right?! yeah, hanging out with them is more fun than us, yeah i agree. we are TOO FUN to hang out with. ha, right back at you. you never know, all of us feels great hanging out as one group and all. but sometimes one of us just HAD to sarcastically call out, 'HEY, ONE PERSON MISSING RIGHT?' and then we all just laugh it out, cause its so FUNNY! HAHA, yeah right. i just feel like grabbing you by your collar and punch you right in the nose. i'll not feel satisfied but at least, thats way better than nothing. but nah, come to think of it, i wouldn't wanna contaminate my fist, nah uh, no thank you. so right now, i can foresee the god damn future that you'll open your laptop, sign in to blogger and start bitching and backfiring us back in your post. yeah, i see it clearly. cause you see, nothing's damn pathetic than starting the war when the opposing team has at least forget about it and you suddenly brought it back to life. see the patheticness? but its alright, have fun posting more bullshits about us on your blog. cause, i'll just be patient and be thankful to God of the words you had to mumble out into your post. yes sir, thank you ever so much. you made my day of laughing so loudly .. NOT.

love, nas[:

2009-08-14T20:10:00.005+08:00

this picture's so classic! all look so retarded! *smiles*
man, don't scold me k. i like you guys reaction, *laughs*

All these times you've been telling me lies.
Hidden in bags that are under your eyes.
And when i asked you, i knew i was right.
But if you turn your back on me now.
When i need you most, but you chose to let me down.
Won't you think about what you're about to do to me?
And back down ..

love, nas[:

2009-08-13T21:57:00.002+08:00

well its been long since i've blogged! been watching tv these days, until dad asked me when will i start to study hardcore. heh, so i said i wanted to study heymath and meanwhile, check my accounts first. well, PE on tuesday was awesome! it was girls vs guys since mr koh was not around. girls went violent and guys just stood there creating walls, *laughs* hmm, wednesday had band. then today. ss, she didnt came. then chemistry, continued with experiment. physics, new notes. recess, makan ah. then english, comp lab and did poster. then e maths, kinda short and i like TOACAHSOH! so fun. but triangles are making me dizzy. head to nad's home, changed then went to the beach with the 'i know-we know' group! awesome shit. played soccer, guitar, rollerblading, running. basically today was sort of a sporty day. should do this often yeah. head home around 7.30plus. dad looked at me scarily, but didnt say anything. *relieved* omg, im like looking at the pictures of us and laughing like some ass. our faces and reactions are like so, wow. hee. more in facebook!

love, nas[:

2009-08-10T22:41:00.005+08:00

570th post. wow, didnt know ive been blabbering this much. saturday, i head to batu pahat. had a great time playing with water. think sunway lagoon but a smaller and cheaper version equipped with slides. fun man! there's like only, estimated, 20 people only over there. so, you can like ride the slides on your own accord, without having to queue. heh, fun times. then went back johor. slept at grand's place. head home on sunday. today went for relative nisfu. its like saying prayers before our fasting month starts. without a relative this year, seems really weird. sighs, its okay. life has to go on, nas! tomorrow's school. after school sending mom to indonesia. found out jun's dad going too. hehe, cool.

love, nas[:

2009-08-07T22:03:00.003+08:00

well, today was awesome! pictures will be put up after i came back from batu pahat. had assembly thingy, flag beariers came. then teachers sang songs. reminds me of pasir ris primary's sing singapore. how i miss it so much. then head to class. listen and watch some videos. then had burger from macs. then head home at 9.15. then went to seashell park and slacked with hud, jun, xj. talked cocked, laughed, climb the playground, fall. then saw this group of lower sec guys from far and i was like staring at them climbing something when suddenly one of them shouted, 'eh nasyitah!'. i was like, huh? i couldnt really see them clearly from far, so i dont really know who. so weird. so walked around for awhile, then all of them came. 'all' means nad, sak, dee, jid, syak. so we slacked for awhile, then they went to pray while me, jun, nad, sak, hud went to jun's block. then started playing soccer. then got bored, played truth or dare. got bored, so played blind mice. really fun. i enjoyed it pretty much. sorry someone, for not attending your picnic. and hell no, its not because of me wanting to go PRP next week. i just got plans today, so yeah.

love, nas[:

2009-08-06T15:20:00.006+08:00

oh gosh, i dunno why i felt lethargic yesterday. so, after band, reached home around 7 and immediately fall asleep till the next morning. so today, at school was not so sleepy but still felt tired though. school today was okay. social studies was fine. then had chemistry. studied new chapter already, about acids and stuffs. then was physics. at class, but pretty fun with the usual people around me. then recess, awesomely hungry! so grabbed macaroni and additional burger. then english, did oral. then maths, [retty fast cause all we did was construct a triangle and find the ratio or something. i was busy thinking about other stuffs, sighs. went home straight after buying bubble tea. yay. i made something for our group, *laughs*. it looks as though it just came from a nursery student drawing. hehe, ah well. i feel awesome without someone! *snickers* aiyah, i know, we know la. omg, i suddenly feel the urge to go to the beach! go do some dare-daring stuffs! and go play blind mice/ice and water with the usual group again! its like, so fun man. next week maybe? hee.

love, nas[:

2009-08-04T21:12:00.007+08:00

school started out with duty, so lazy! then had PE, which was really fun. did some weird dance with joey and then dragged jun, nad, sak, anne along. such small stuffs really excites us. then english, did summary. then was malay. kinda fun. then recess, ate ate. head to maths. was fine, got a sudden idea to draw our group that represents each of us the most. had a good time making my friends laugh. hee. assembly, laughed with sharlynn and yunfei about the silliest stuffs. thanks to ms nooraini and rhazin!

sighs, aww man. im getting waaaay clumsier each day. and people are making up stories of me tripping over my feet, *laughs*. thanks to some tree that scratched my leg. *points to picture* well, 2009 has been a year where my clumsiness arise.

HAHA, you're one of a joker, i tell you.

at least i made an effort to think that its me - unlike you.

at least i thought i was in the wrong - unlike you.

at least i felt guilty - unlike you.

yeah, yeah, bomb me back if you don't agree with this.

my problem if i wanna keep misunderstanding.

you know, im not conceited and i actually think very badly of myself, thats the reason.

im totally gonna shout, LOSER, for you not saying the latest post right in my face,

that time during monday's confrontation.

all you did was sat there like some blur block.

but heck, i dont really wanna care no more.

no matter how hard the time was, we went through as a group.

we stick to each other, caring and all.

but then, what happened now?

boo everything, freak!

love, nas[:

2009-08-02T22:12:00.004+08:00

today skipped religious class. i cant really wear long pants, thanks to my injured knee. grandparents came, so happy. finished up geo. now relaxing, well not exactly. thinking about damn maths test which ive not studied yet and now is like 10.49pm? sheesh, sure fail. man,

after reading someone's blog, *coughs* it made me more furious than ever.
threatening me with stuffs that i once told you not to tell, you want to blurt it out.
yeah right i told them about your talks.
they figured out themselves.
im surprised you dont know how smart our group of friends can be.
im confuse why you cant just read between the god damn lines?!
and i realised, you didnt even apologise to my friend whom you shouted at.
instead you apologised to another friend which, sorry to say, not that important.
*vulgarities coming out*
yeah, you dont even know the TRUE meaning of apology.
yet you say my friend dont know how to apologise to you.
seriously, what goes around come around real quick.
you're like all about yourself, and seldom about your friends.
yes, youre right, you hurt all of us.
never thought about that, do you?
cause you're so busy with your problems who you think the rest of us dont go thru.
yes, we help because we care about you.
but unfortunately, it all goes to vain.
why so petty?
why must you be SO angry at my friend who speaks the truth to you?
why cant you accept it like i once told you, just SWALLOW all the hurt no matter the pain.
cause thats life, just live it.
no need to apologise, i dont think neither of us will accept it for now.
yeah, i understand, care from individual is totally different.
but just live with the care you can feel now!
why must you go over everything to get some care of others who dont want to give it to you?
be thankful, please.
oh yeah, you found the kind of care in someone who doesnt give it back?
then whats the care we gave to you?
just like a pile of shit/rubbish?!
i dont think you're gonna get what we all are trying to imply.
*curses*

love, nas[:

2009-08-01T16:19:00.005+08:00

friday's school was awesome cause its so damn short. went for band, kinda okay. played summertime's solo for awhile. sounded nice. then met everyone and our plan is on. after that, head home with ruzaidee. and yeah, while jumping from the slope at seashell park, apparently, i fell. hehe, clumsy me. now have to bandage my bleeding knee. its hard for me to even sit down! damn bad luck. oh well, been long since i've injured myself.

well, today went to tuition. then me and junaidah went to meet hudah. discussed about stuffs and all. we slacked at seashell park for awhile. then we sat at central. then this old lady came and talk to us nicely. she was like asking if we just came back from school. so we entertained her for awhile. then when she wants to go away, she added : 'im waiting for my child for so long.' then she went. i thought she went already but the thing is, she came back and put $0.40 beside me. i was like, huh wtf? okay, if she wants to give us $0.30 so each of us can have $0.10, that i can understand. but did she see another person with us? wow, thats so weird and scary. then a shop owner went to talk to us and stated that she always asked people for money. i was like denying and say, she gave us money! the owner was shocked, *laughs*. ah well, these days has been so damn weird and unusual.

confrontation began.
hell yeah, i was superbly angry.
i cannot accept anyone yelling at their own friend.
come on, if you want to shout and be angry, yell at me.
don't yell at her, i beg you.
i can't tolerate this any further.
this is the first time in my life, im frustrated with my own BESTfriend.
its not yet settled, its going to be continued on monday.
watch out.

love, nas[:

2009-07-30T22:21:00.004+08:00

school was okay, after school went home (i know, we know) and i started falling down more than i expected i would. went home with bruises which are somewhat black and blue. bathed and the feeling, wah, damn shoik! k not, its painful.

im like gonna start this post with this, FUCK!
im not afraid of the consequences that i may bare.
but im against keeping everything in my heart and let it rot.
so, if you know its you and you feel everything's a lie, just approach me.
i'll let you clear your damn doubts.
i know, all my rantings at this pathetic blog is worthless.
but the main point, at least i get to vent everything out.
come on, im saying it again.
its NOT all about YOU.
i know, you're sick and tired of our stupid and meaningless counseling.
but thats what friends do, dont they?
but apparently, you did not store them in your thick skull.
we tried and tried but everytime we tried to help you, it became failure.
this is clearly not our fault, think and reflect, you will realise that its all yours.
im not blaming you, just stating the god damn facts.
you can swear us bad words, but the thing is, everything will come right back to you.
im telling this straight your face, i despise your attitude.
i still went through life and listen to your problems,
though you dont regard me as your 'most best' friend.
cause now i realise, its just a title to you.
i dont mind, being an extra in your life.
i just hope you really thought about your behaviour, towards us all.
i can't stand it no more.
ending means losing.
but, what to do?
i cant continue this no more.
your words and actions are penetrating into my soul like a penknife.
but, no doubt, yours hurts more then any blade that slices through my skin.
im dead serious.
scars can heal, hurt won't be destroyed that easily.

love, nas[:

2009-07-29T17:47:00.003+08:00

school was boring. chemistry, mole again. then was english. comprehension again. then was physics. did practical on reflection. then recess, makan. then was geo. did workbook. last period, per normal, was maths. did linear law, could understand a bit. went to slack somewhere and jun & syakir went home. so me, nad, dee, dw had this ridiculous idea. and it made us really depressed, *laughs*. im loving mayday parade these days. all their songs brought meaning into my life.

And I'll borrow words from all my favorite paragraphs
To write a ballad while we say the things
We hope would mean the most to me
And each line is sent
I have found a new pages of hope for the days
When I feel like I've lost everything

love, nas[:

2009-07-28T21:43:00.006+08:00

didnt blogged yesterday, tired and mostly lazy. spent my night writing crap and messaging people. couldnt be bothered to do anything either. today was really fun. had PE. played friendly game of handball and there was huge laughters everywhere during the game. i forgot i was fasting, so i kinda just let go and run around and shouting and all. suddenly felt thirsty and remembered i was fasting. couldn't hold any longer, so i had to break my fast. then had english. comprehension again. and then was MT. those who didnt do homework had to do structuring sentences on the board. i didnt do and apparently didnt own up. hehe, bad ass nas. went for recess. then e maths. finally can understand similarity and congruency! whoot, i feel great. k then went for assembly. class tee discussion. head to band room, i had to bring out every single saxophones and put most of them back. my arms are hurting and aching! thanks to olivia, wenyi and fadhlynn as well. hehe. went to macs and ate. slacked under xj's block and went home!

seriously, whats the damn use of us talking and lets say,
wasting our time, efforts, saliva talking to you and you don't even get it into your skull?
think about what we say, reflect and understand what we are trying to tell you.
you may not know, you've hurt us again
but we still go on as though everything's alright cause we know,
deep inside you're still part of our friend and we treat you equally,
nothing as important as you treat someone.
we just want you to be your usual self
and stop your petty & easy-get-emo behaviour, PLEASE!
im afraid to try one more time of consoling, really.
cause i know the results are of no used.
not a simple thank you or a simple appreciation.
is that what friendship is all about?
honestly, i don't think so.
you never notice, its never about you but
its about you and us all, your friends.
so, stop feeling sorry for yourself and thinking you're at fault.
this is just one of the situation where i feel like grabbing you by the collar
and punch you right in the face, then i'll feel way better.
i just feel of no used, maybe the others are thinking the same way as well.
cause plainly, we tried and tried, but we failed.

love, nas[:

2009-07-26T12:42:00.003+08:00

well, had tuition yesterday and went for meeting for our band concert. then went to changi to have lunch. was feeling damn hungry. then went home and feel asleep, from 3pm to 10pm. haaaa, pig much eh? brother woke me up at 7 to perform prayers but unfortunately i continued to sleep. well, woke up at around 10 and started feeling REALLY hungry and thirsty. so, complained to my father and he, too, was hungry. so all of us head to adam road and have a great, late night supper. went home feeling satisfied. today, went to religious class. then now at home, doing nothing.

love, nas[:

2009-07-24T21:10:00.004+08:00

okay, was late, 2 times in a row and got those damn yellow late notes. talk about yestersday. could only remember during physics class that syakir & rhazin kept on singing songs. our very own portable jukebox, heh. resolved some problems, got factors and reasonable facts from both sides. so confusing. k then today school was short. chemistry, unfortunately had test and i accidently slept yesterday night while studying so nothing went into my head. had malay. played games, kinda fun. then social studies. studied on traffic thingy. then was recess and e maths. nothing interesting today.

love, nas[:

2009-07-22T20:09:00.004+08:00

damn, i just called my M1 customer service number and they say my bill is $84+. wtf? i didnt really call and my sms-es are like unlimited for every month. and i dont go to the net. so whats with the big amount? sighs, gonna get scolding soon. this is damn frustrating. ah well, school started with class chat. then had chemistry. went thru worksheets. then went for english. raining and the weather made me so damn sleepy. physics, stayed in class. then had recess, then geo. did notes. then had a maths. then head to whitesands KFC and celebrated majid's birthday. fun times when our old 'long-time-never-talk' friend came back and slack with us. had a laughing fit everytime each of us made a stupid antic. if only nad was here. nvm, get well soon! 1 week is a pretty long mc! went to fishpond park and poured water while throwing corn flour on majid. it was the cheapest flour. *laughs*

love, nas[:

2009-07-20T20:27:00.004+08:00

well, saturday went to 20 mouseliums of my relative at the cemetry. i dunno why, going to the cemetry kinda excites me. it makes me feel calm, somehow. walking around, looking at the names and all. i know, so weird. but thats me. went home, feeling tired as ever. so skipped religious class the next day. today, monday. had CD. sex education talk was made boring by the teacher. then had geo, which teacher didnt came. so, syakir shared some jokes and horror stories. fun ah. then had malay. went through sentence structuring, bored. then recess, couldnt eat. fasting, whatelse. so went to class, slacked and all and started talking about cream puffs. damn craving. then had physics. kinda fun for me. then a maths. coordinate geometry, again? ah well. head to nad's house, watch movies. then got some, erm, news. then head home. break fast and on that moment, i felt really glad. food is inserted into my mouth! what joy! *smiles*
sighs, i dunno. im missing this friend of mine. all those happy memories that been shared and all. now, i just have to recap the past and stare at all those pictures in my mobile. i guess, thats life. i just have to swallow the pain and move on with it.

some find it sharing every morning
some in their solitary lives
you'll find it in the world of others
a simple line can make you laugh or cry
you'll find it in the deepest friendship
the kind you cherish all your life
and when you know how much that means
you've found that special thing
you're flying without wings.

love, nas[:

2009-07-17T22:33:00.006+08:00

ah well, school ended pretty fast today. had reading period. then was chemistry. fun mole practices. then was mother tongue. did sentence structuring. then after that i thought was recess. but it was SS period. nothing much. then recess. then maths. was okay. head to e!hub to book tickets. then went to nad's house then head to e!hub and catch the movie. then went to nad's house again. prayed together then watched another movie at her house. we watched haunting in connecticut and jun was randomly saying, 'connect' and she extend the words and it sounded really wrong! well, 2 horror movies in one day, awesome shit. then went home around 7plus.

love, nas[:

2009-07-16T23:04:00.004+08:00

fast today, so weak. reading period, studied SS. test paper, managable. chemistry, okay. physics, okay. recess, cant eat. go class, arun teach. english, fun. maths, sucks. thats what happened today, not really summary. just, something short and boring - like me. went home, slept till 7. break my fast, watched tv, did malay compo. now, heymath-ing. sucks chicken balls.

i could only sing you sad songs
and you could sing along
and you could see the melody
that's been calling out your wrongs
and this never will be right with me
and now you're trying to desperately
but i'm tongue tied and terrified of what i'll say
but i never told you everything
i'm losing hope and fading dreams
and every single memory along the way

and then we both go down together
we may stay there forever
i'll just try to get up
and i'm sorry
this wasn't easy
when i asked you, believe me
you never let go
but i let go

love, nas[:

2009-07-15T21:01:00.003+08:00

i only enjoyed physics today. the only lesson i understand. somehow, i cant remember what happened today. like seriously. maths, everyone at least understood modular functions but not me. but thanks to nadirah who tried to teach me. hmm, why cant maths teacher dumbo keep his mouth shut when we're concentrating on our work? still dare say, 'during my lessons, you people are supposed to not exercise your mouth.' *curses* ah well, went to eat fish & co. since someone's craving for it. then head to syakir's house with nad, sak, jun, xj, arun, dw. arun thought me modular functions and i kinda understand it now. cheers to arun & nadirah! okay, im kind of listening to micheal jackson's songs on repeat :x

And it seems
Im alone here, hollow again
As Im flailing again against the wind
And the scars I am left with swallow again
As Im failing again now, never to change this

love, nas[:

2009-07-14T19:53:00.004+08:00

school today was pretty okay. had reading period. not sleepy, surprised. then had PE. played handball. i somehow find a mixture of guys and girls to be better, heh. then, english. writing, writing. then mother tongue. gosh, one language after another. sucks balls. didnt do work, instead talked to sakina till lesson ended. a letter was passed from our beloved friend. i know you may or may not be reading my post but, we understand your situation and will reply as soon as possible. recess after that. read the letter, broke down like some pathetic kid. gah, couldnt control my tears after recalling all the superb memories we had together. well, then had a maths which was supposed to be e maths. eh come on la dumbo, make up your mind! you ask to bring e maths textbook but you give us 3 a maths questions for 3 periods. COOL AH, not. i dont even understand a single shit you're blabbering about. somehow, mrs khoo is much better now considering at least she'll repeat for us if we're to slow to understand. *sighs* went to slack at macs & under dw's block and head home.

Winter, spring, summer or fall
All you have to do is call
And I'll be there, yeah I will
You've got a friend
Ain't it good to know
That you've got a friend
People can be so cold
They'll hurt you and desert you
And take your soul if you let them
Oh, don't let them
Cause you got a friend

love, nas[:

2009-07-13T20:05:00.002+08:00

When I first started writing this I swear
my intentions were well,
and I`d start with maybe a memory or two,
but then I saw you for the first time in a while,
and awkward thoughts brought awkward smiles,
and I left your room for the very last time,
and I know that I can`t sleep with all of these things
they`re running through my head,
so I stayed up and I

I wrote this song about you.
Isn`t that cliche of me to do?
But it`s nothing for you
I just needed something more to say
So don`t blush or hooray at the possible sound of your name
'cause no, I wouldn`t go that far. No.

Now I,
I`ve watched these years disperse and still this verse lacks words,
and I`m losing all but a memory or two
'cause now I see you
and I can`t hold back a smile.
Your fashion`s long gone out of style
and there`s nothing left to impress me anymore
'cause I know
that I can`t see that same guy that I had known so long ago,
so I gave up and I

I wrote this song about you.
isn`t that cliche of me to do?
But it`s nothing for you.
I just need something more to say,
so don`t blush or hooray at the possible sound of your name.
No, I wouldn`t go that far.
No, I wouldn`t go that far.

And you`re dying to know if a thank you will show up on my back sleeve
but I don`t think
I`ll tell of who crafted this hell and fixed it on me to the world.

I wrote this song.
I wrote it about you.
I wrote this song all about you.

love, nas[:

2009-07-13T19:39:00.003+08:00

damn, didnt go to school today. sick ah whatelse. thats what i get when i dont eat medicine, hee. not that i dont wanna go to school, its just, i just hate medicines. gah. went to the doctor and head home. then went to meet my friends. i think imma fast soon to pay back all my fasting days that has been left. *smiles*

both hands tied behind my back with nothing
oh no, these times when we climb so fast to fall again
why we gotta fall for it now?
i never meant to start war
you know i never want to hurt you
dont even know what we're fighting for.

love, nas[:

2009-07-10T21:54:00.003+08:00

well, today i was feeling rather weak. slept during reading period. then had SS. watched V for Vendetta. ms shaheeda gave us Jigs to eat but sharlynn didnt want it, so i ate alone. even so, my head hurts so badly. then had physics. slept halfway too and apparently drool (so tired huh?), didnt complete all my notes. must copy from sakina. then went for maths at AVA. khoo and raj didnt come. relief teachers for us and 3e2. recess, no mood eat but still eat. then had chemistry. was feeling okay. i love the topic, MOLE. so fun. went to downtown east. it kinda rained, so we walked in the rain. head to macs and ate mcspicy. hee, been long. then slacked around under dw's block and after that i fell asleep again while listening to nad's iPod. *pathetic face* then xj and dw came. so, stuffs happened. just know, today i kind of laughed alot to forget everything. so called trying to drive my blues away by eating non stop. sighs. im sick sick sick, i dont want to eat medicine! *sour face*

love, nas[:

2009-07-09T21:19:00.004+08:00

sudden death is really unbelievable. but, what have us got to complain about? its all God's will. and when the times come, i'll just have to say a prayer and watch the corpse being brought into the land. *sighs* this year is really a tough one for me. having problems day after day. but i have to thank God for all of this. this is His test for us all. i'll accept it and go through it regardless of the pain it brings because i know, in the end, its Him who helps us get out of it.

today went to school as per normal. took class photo. kinda fun, since new classmates eh. this the second time i had to sit down and i got confused on how to put my hands. rushed to her home to give prayers after photo taking. now, my head's feeling really heavy. its okay, tomorrow's the last day of the week. *sighs* oh, new word learnt from andrew ; queer. i know, im pathetic okay.

love, nas[:

2009-07-08T18:37:00.005+08:00

*points to the picture* this connects to today when i kept on embarassing myself by tripping, hitting, banging, bumping into things & people. k random stuffs.

sitting at McCafe lets us think. i dont know why. suddenly all of this is occuring in one single year. feeling upset, disappointed, neglected, hurt and all those negative words that you can ever think of is creeping up slowly like roots of humongous tress. leaving us like that and joining others and went to meet us just to say, BYE is really pathetic okay. i mean, i dont mind you guys going with who you chose to go with. cause we have no power to control. we're being a good friend to let you guys be happy with who you all want to be. since being with them makes you guys feel great, i must say im pretty well happy for you people. set aside you guys, another problem is a friend of ours who've i and some others have known since primary school. we're not talking, we're not hanging out together anymore. all those jokes and laughter has disappeared into thin air. first question that we discussed, WHAT HAVE WE DONE WRONG? now, this is repeating with you guys. so we asked among us, WHAT HAVE WE DONE WRONG AGAIN? dont mind me, but think about nadirah, junaidah and sakina. you guys even made one of them broke down. thats how hurt you guys made us feel. its like you guys are penetrating newly-bought penknife into our souls. i dont wanna be dramatic, but i dont have a choice. they 3 didnt did anything wrong. why do this to them? i dont bother if you wish to neglect me, but just dont neglect and hurt them. it hurts me more to see them like this. we may appear happy and joyful just now but that doesnt means we ain't hurt inside. thanks for making me mad and upset for like the first time in my life.

love, nas[:

2009-07-07T16:40:00.003+08:00

well, school today was funny, thanks to my 'around the area' friends. had reading period and i didnt bring my damn book. secretly read my maths textbook wherelese rhazin had to stand due to not bringing book. hehe, im so bad. well, had geo. but teacher didnt come. so, slacked. then had malay. did composition. then was english. did some group activity, kinda fun. laughing makes me happy. (duh?!) well, recess. ate, whatelse. then, e maths. kinda fun. then assembly, more fun. sat in class. finished up english with group, crapped around then uninvited guest came in again. its a WASP man! so yunfei, sharlynn, sakina including rhazin were like shouting for the wasp. so i thought it was near me. so i sort of, er, jumped on the chair! *pathetic face* people were making fun of me, damn. well, head home after that.

you know the feeling of desperately wanting to help but you can't because the 'hurt' party doesnt wanna share the pain with you? apparently, i'm feeling that now. seeing a family/friend being hurt, hurts me more deeper. though i may not appear depressed outside, doesnt mean im not dying inside. please, just share with me and you'll feel better. not only me, but most importantly you.

love, nas[:

2009-07-06T19:51:00.003+08:00

well today was extremely tiring but worthwhile. so, today was youth day and there's a holiday. so, i decided to tag along with dewei, xianjing, marcus, yuansheng and andy. we went to tampines' GV, wished to catch a movie. after waiting for so long, suddenly the counter person told us the seats are like, 1 straight row. from up to down. so we were like, ah nvm. so we went to vivo. which is like, first time i went with friends. so, queued again, long waiting time. then came to the counter, there's like only 2 seats left. yes, pathetic. *laughs* so trained back to tampines. yuansheng, marcus & andy went to the hokkaido fair wherelese me, xianjing and dewei ran away, not from the people, but the SMELL. apparently us three couldnt stand the smell. i felt like puking man, and the both of them had their noses red. *laughs* well, head to dowtown east after that to catch my KFC meal since i've not eaten since morning. then went to NTUC and dragged ourselves home.

love, nas[:

2009-07-05T21:37:00.002+08:00

ah well, good news. you people can finally text me again cause i received my new phone! *big smiles* been long since i've messaged and kinda missed it. and now, i love my Samsung Preston to bits. made me appreciate it more though its an appliance. hee. wonder why i fall in love with 'things' but not 'human'? k nevermind, dont bother that. religious class exams was a failure. did it like, anyhow. tomorrow maybe going out with the 4 doods, hopefully.

love, nas[:

2009-07-03T16:05:00.002+08:00

yesterday school was pretty okay. learnt changing of foreign currency for e maths. was kinda fun to me. well, went to whitesands yesterday. finally get to eat my favourite banditto at kfc! craving for it again, now. today school was fine. really short actually. had SS. copied down notes. had physics. copied down notes again. then e maths. was okay. recess, ate. then chemistry, fun. head to McCafe with nad & jun to get my double chocolate while dewei, xianjing, anne & yuansheng ate their subway. head home while they went to whitesands. now imma snack while watching dramas *smiles*

love, nas[:

2009-07-01T21:49:00.005+08:00

IM IN LOVE! with double chocolate frappe at mccafe.

been studying the last few nights. better start early before it too late. and now my back is aching from doing work on the floor, sheesh. well, school this days are pretty boring and dry. i hate term 3 & 4. all the teachers are gonna rush rush rush. that sucks, ah well. first of all, took height & weight today. awesome man, like finally i gained 1kg & grew 1cm. so thats makes me, 47kg & 157cm tall. then had chemistry. was pretty fun, physics was pretty okay too. recess, eat eat eat. full man, took me too slowly to climb up the damn stairs. ss was okay too. maths was really weird for me. i hate hire purchase, compound interest, simple interest and etc. makes my head spins. dreading for raj to teach. well, went to mccafe after that. thats when i fall in love with the frappe. *sly smile*

love, nas[:

2009-06-30T16:41:00.003+08:00

k imma blog about that pathetic idiot fucking asshole SC teacher. i know its not gonna make a difference if i bitch about him but at least i get to let out my furiousness while its still here.

seriously, whats the use of being an SC if you're not committed to it? im just a normal member, not an exco or anything else, so whats the use of me staying in it? im quitting because i cant possibly quit band! i love band. and i have to concentrate on my studies cause its like damn shit. 3e1 student getting mostly Ds, Es & Fs is like fuck. come on! i dont care getting a bad record in my report book for SC. all i care is getting good results for my years in loyang. you even called me stupid when i told you i dont mind getting a bad record for SC. whatever man. just let me go! what have you got to lose when im not there?! i dont perform well as an SC. i dont even feel like and SC. i avoid SC meetings. nvm, you gonna be our teacher soon. im never gonna respect you. if i cant quit, i make him wanna sack me. thats the last choice.

love, nas[:

2009-06-29T15:57:00.008+08:00

okay, uhm. oh, CONCERT! on saturday, some of us went for the afternoon concert which the Singapore Wind Symphony played. was pretty fun. there was a saxophone solo by the germnay people. one of them played the classic song by P.Ramlee, IBU which officially means mother. damn nice. he played all the different saxes excpet bari & contrabass. well, then me, nad, asri, delia, dewei trained to city hall if i not wrong and went to eat BK. i was really hungry but decided to stick to onion rings & coke since i had to save up money. then went to share money with nad to buy pretzels. yummeh. then we went back to SCH and waited for sean. while waiting, we snapped some pictures to kill time. then saw sean, bought the tickets & went to sit at the uppermost seats. everyone of us was really hyper to the max. jumping, screaming, laughing, hornying, dancing. i guess if we had the ability to be light as birds, we could float in the air. then the concert started. SAX IN THE CITY bebeh! they played big band music also known as swing music, which was like so awesome. me, nad, delia & asri was practically dancing and swaying to the music. then this guy went about talking, somewhat like a comedy show. me teo boon chye was there! omg, i love him. his way of playing the saxophone is like, WOW. well, then interval. weichang, haziq & weixian came up to sit with us. weixian was like dancing, i was like laughing hard. then these adults below us were like staring and looking at me and giving those disgusted looks. i was like, WTF. my problem ah, i wanna laugh. i was stared like too many times already. but heck. then the germany people came. and then there was combine. SWS & germany people. awesome shit. they played heal the world by MJ. then we all shouted gazhali name. and at the end of the concert, the people in front of us exclaimed, THIS ARE THE FUTURE OF SINGAPORE. FISHMONGERS! i was like, KNNCCB! *laughs* ah well, no use fighting with this kinda people. waited for gaz then head to lau pa sat. couldnt eat there since we didnt want satays. so we walked to macs. ate and it was about 11.30. so we had to walk quickly to interchange. reached pasir ris around 12plus. my parents fetched us all home.

today, had school i pretty well hate school. moreover, our timetable changed. 3 periods of maths two days in the row ; monday & tuesday. come on man, thats like the starting of the week. and we also have 2 days in a row of last period of maths. adding to that, we are having RAJ! OMG, thats like really fuck. grr. had to change seats today, no more with joey. ah well :/ oh, been long since i've typed this long eh? hehe.

love, nas[:

2009-06-26T22:44:00.001+08:00

Is this the moment where i look you in the eye?
Forgive my broken promise that you`ll never see me cry
And everything, it will surely change even if i tell you i won`t go away today
Will you think that you`re all alone
When no one`s there to hold your hand?
And all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary rest your head
I`m permanent

I know he`s living in hell every single day
And so i ask oh god is there some way for me to take his place
And when they say it`s all touch and go i wish i could make it go away
But still you say
Will you think that you`re all alone when no one`s there to hold your hand?
When all you know seems so far away and everything is temporary, rest your head
I`m permanent
I`m permanent

Is the moment where i look you in the eye?
Forgive my promise that you`ll never see me cry

OMFG, I LOVE THIS SONG. I COULD PLAY IT ON REPEAT FOR TEN TIMES MAN.

love, nas[:

2009-06-26T20:58:00.003+08:00

today didnt stayed home like i thought i would. instead, i went to saxophone workshop at bueona vista ; ulu pandan community center. went there with delia, fadhlynn, joel, jerold, shannon and jonathan. was kinda fun. played with germany adults, students from other schools and some adults from somewhere around singapore. all came together and combine to play this piece. damn fun. made friends there and some guy from boon lay sec went around asking for email addresses including mine and asked me, hey are you single? *pathetic face* i was like, umm ya? *laughs* got free tickets for tomorrow's concert. one at 3pm & another concert at around 7plus i guess. two concerts in one day, WOW.

love, nas[:

2009-06-25T21:30:00.001+08:00

well today accompanied xj & dw watch movie. same ol' DMTH. but the sound effects seriously deafening. then went to pasar malam & off to dw's block. studied my chemistry for awhile while dw went nuts with his camera phone. *pathetic face* oh, tml there's saxophone workshop! oh yeah~

love, nas[:

2009-06-24T20:44:00.003+08:00

well, today was pretty awesome. had band. sectionals on a piece a truely hate. hehe. then combined on a piece, very nice. then went to do library work with my alien partner while the others spring clean their instruments as well as the old ones. omg, its driving us both mad! after band, head to watch Drag Me To Hell. didnt have other movies that met our time. so, it started at 5.20 and ended at 7.00. well, i find the movie funny. though its kinda shocking and disgusting at parts. hmm, tml maybe going out again. we'll see.

i hope people could forgive each other easily.

love, nas[:

2009-06-23T21:38:00.004+08:00

today had band. kinda fun. played M. i love wenyi's solo. a teacher gave us the saxophone solo piece entitled 'i need to be in love'. it was played by russel. couldnt believe he actually memorised the whole piece. so many notes! ah well. and my speaker is fixed! so happy. now, i dont have to live with a deaf computer. hehe.

love, nas[:

2009-06-22T15:29:00.002+08:00

Write the names of 21 friends you can think off the top of your head, and then answer the questions.
Say you’re guessing if you don’t know, but at least guess on all of them.
After doing this, tag your 21 friends to do the same.

1) nadirah
2) junaidah
3) sakina
4) joey
5) hudah
6) dewei
7) xianjing
8) delia
9) arun
10) yuan sheng
11) andy
12) marcus
13) ruzaidi
14) wenyi
15) syakir
16) peiling
17) hannah
18) haziq
19) wani
20) andrew
21) bukhary

*How did you meet 7? (xianjing)
primary & secondary school friends.

*What would you do if you had never met 15? (syakir)
less fun, singing, jokes and laughter.

*What would you do if 20 and 1 dated? (nadirah, andrew)
look at them and shout, WTH!

*Have you ever seen 17 cry? (hannah)
i dont think so.

*Would 4 and 16 make a good couple?(joey, peiling)
im not certained they're attracted to their same sex.

*Do you want to be 13's friend forever?(ruzaidi)
hell yeah. we known each other for like, 5 years already.

*Do you think 11 is attractive?(andy)
yeah, especially when he wears his pink top. *laughs*

*What’s 5’s favorite color? (hudah)
im not sure.

*When was the last time you talked to 9 (arun)
few weeks ago when he head to india and left us a message.

*What language does 8 speak? (delia)
70% english, 30% chinese.

*Who is 13 going out with? (ruzaidi)
no one currently, i guess.

*What grade is 16 in? (peiling)
sec 3? sorry, i dunno thes grade stuffs.

*Would you ever date 17? (hannah)
hee, i dont think so.

*Where does 18 live? (haziq)
pasir ris.

*What is the best thing about 4? (joey)
she makes me laugh with her horny antiques!

*What would you like to tell 10 right now? (yuan sheng)
yummeh fishball! *laughs*

*What is the best thing about 20? (andrew)
sarcastic but funny in a way.

*Have you ever kissed 2? (junaidah)
hee, no and never will.

*What’s the best memory you have of 5? (hudah)
loads! slacking and talking to her are also great memories.

*When’s the next time you’re going to see 4? (joey)
when school reopen.

*How is 7 different from 6? (xianjing, dewei)
much differences, cant think of one now.

*Is 2 pretty?(junaidah)
hee, yes. combing her hair non stop!

*What was your first impression of 15? (syakir)
full of crap talks.

*How did you meet 3? (sakina)
secondary school.

*Is 15 your best friend? (syakir)
one of them.

*Do you hate 12? (marcus)
nah, i dont hate my friends ok.

*Have you seen 18 in the last month? (haziq)
yes, during band.

*When was the last time you saw 16? (peiling)
during band too.

*Have you been to 5’s house? (hudah)
yes, been there.

*When’s the next time you’ll see 10?(yuan sheng)
when school reopen, i guess.

*Are you close to 11? (andy)
classmates, but quite ok.

*Have you been to the movies with 4? (joey)
sadly, no.

*Have u ever gotten in trouble with 8? (delia)
yes. we're issued 30 pumpings for that.

*would u give 19 a hug? (wani)
hehe, gave.

*When have you lied to 3? (sakina)
will never lie to my friends unless the occasion calls for it.

*Is 11 good at socializing? (andy)
yes, but sometimes he can be shy.

*Describe the relationship between 12 and 18. (marcus, haziq)
school friends, didnt met before also.

*What’s the best thing about your friendship with 9? (arun)
its always fun and laughter with him. and ive known him for 7 years already!

*What’s the worst thing about 6? (dewei)
when he's in a sore mood, he's really in a sore mood.

*Have you ever had a crush on 12? (marcus)
hee, no. i love all of them as my friends.

*How long have you known 2? (junaidah)
5 years already.

*Have you ever been in a fight with 13? (ruzaidi)
we fought playfully, nothing serious.

*Does 11 have a bf/gf? (andy)
i dont think so.

*Have you ever wanted to punch 1 in the face? (nadirah)
hee, no. i love her, why the heck should i punch her?

*Has 21 met your mother? (bukhary)
yeah.

*How did you meet 11? (andy)
classmates.

*Did you ever accidentally physically hurt 3? (sakina)
punched her arms & kicked her ass. *laughs* we friends are kinda violent.

*Do you live close to 7? (xianjing)
yes. same kampung.

*What's 8's favourite foood? (delia)
not sure.

*What kind of car does 1 have? (nadirah)
hee, we're 15?

*Have you traveled anywhere with 9? (arun)
not yet.

*Do you know a secret about 8? (delia)
no, *laughs*

love, nas[:

2009-06-19T16:38:00.002+08:00

ah well, i have the sudden urge to type out something. but its plain crap, so dont make a big situation out of it, thanks.

wrists that are slit can be resown
but the scars on the flesh remind you they've won
you're not proud but you will always fight
they always win, no matter whats right
the metal finds your skin, eventhough you hide
your alone, one person, one side

smugness upsets you, you only see dark
your alone, confused, staring down at that mark
your head starts to hurt, your starting to crack
it wont be long till the cutting comes back

the blood you've shed falls to the floor
you've lost again, your own personal war.

love, nas[:

2009-06-17T13:16:00.003+08:00

finally back. i tell you, i hate malaysian guys *pathetic face* and i got my finger poked by a durian and blood ooze. hehe, i like. ah well i hope i can go out with friends soon, so bored.

i love the feeling,
of an object that -
penetrates through skin.

love, nas[:

2009-06-14T15:07:00.004+08:00

heading to my grands house at johor in a while. staying there for god knows how long. *jumps for joy* staying at home has been such a boredom. ah well. see ya guys.

love, nas[:

2009-06-11T15:04:00.005+08:00

yesterday went to catch Hannah Montana The Movie with nad, xianjing, dewei. and truthfully, the movie wasnt cocky. it was funny and nice. in fact, i like it better than HSM. hehe. slacked, went home around 8plus. talked on the phone till the battery went dead. slept at almost four. blame my eyes, couldnt even fall asleep after that. tomorrow gonna slack at nad's house. oh yay!
ah well, form teacher just called my house and talked to mom. she told mom that ive been sleeping in class. *laughs* and she'll talk to teacher in charge about me quitting SC. baek arh.

love, nas[:

2009-06-10T10:53:00.001+08:00

im so hungry now! ah well, later going out to the movies. yayness. been sleeping late these days & been waking up early. so weird. i cant fall asleep so easily at night. shucks.

love, nas[:

2009-06-09T01:34:00.003+08:00

my god, its like almost 3am but i cant sleep yet. thinking about stuffs, makes my head spins. if dad founds out im using the comp at this undeadly hour, im dead meat. sheesh, what to do? cant sleep. nvm, just tell mom tml. something to share,

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you.

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

extracted from somewhere. really resembles me, some kind of loser.

love, nas[:

2009-06-07T12:09:00.003+08:00

well, first of all performance during dinner for the guests on friday was a success. i had so much fun, been long since we performed informal-y and had fun. i guessed everyone enjoyed it though. i think i lost my file. *sighs* went home around 10plus at night.
well, yesterday went to ETP with the doods and hudah. had fun despite stuffs that happened. and i really enjoyed spraying everyone with water at the bumber boat ride. all of us were damn wet as if we had bathed with our clothes on. pure fun. and some auntie thanked us for spraying her like mad. *laughs* going out after this i think, yay.

love, nas[:

2009-06-04T16:51:00.005+08:00

had band today. was awesome, had fun. conductor kept on disturbing me about BBS. *laughs* tomorrow we had to go to the damn COL. and i guess band were excused to wear uniform since we just found out we had to go. then get changing and all the band members will be in black. me like! heh. saturday going escape with the doods. cant wait arh. oh yeah, i want LG ARENA! i hope my parents pay my $318 overdue bills real soon. *laughs* and sadly i cant learn new songs to play on the guitar since my speaker backstabbed me. its spoilt, chicken shit.

love, nas[:

2009-06-03T16:36:00.002+08:00

band today. was pretty awesome. stayed back and thanks to some band mates who helped me rearrange the scores. section leaders did a stock check & everyone was really busy. ah well, now i feel like playing the guitar. i hope my fingers doesnt develop calluses due to me not playing for really long. heh.

love, nas[:

2009-06-02T19:10:00.003+08:00

band was okay. not much library work. changed my blogskin due to boredom. well as long as its black, grey or white, im pretty fine with it. HEH.

awesome times! *points up*

love, nas[:

2009-06-01T11:28:00.002+08:00

saturday skipped band, was down with flu. had a huge family gathering at my house, been long. then sunday everyone was dead beat & my mom didnt even wake me up for religious class. oh well, skipped again. then head to aunt's condo since there was an open house. ate non stop. head home around 11plus. today's there's band till 5pm. ah well.

love, nas[:

2009-05-29T20:42:00.004+08:00

today really WAS dooms day. started out fine. got back our papers & spring cleaned the classroom. head to basketball court and played captain's ball. went a lil rough, banging into mates, and into ms wee too. sorry people. then head back to class. then went to hall for lameshit briefing. then went to AVA for issuing of reportbooks. predicted, 3 core subs failed badly. no As or whatsoever. im such an ass. cried non stop like some pathetic asshole. hate this so much. and to SCs, im currently in the midst of quiting it. apologies alright.

you cant play on broken strings,
you cant feel anything,
that your heart dont want to feel,
i cant tell you something that aint real.

love, nas[:

2009-05-28T18:02:00.007+08:00

dramas happened after school. but if only it really WAS a drama, but sadly not. its nas' hell life. so yeah, gritted my teeth and went on to get my friends out of this. i just hope i still could stay strong. i hope everyone around me would try not to burst into tears and just chin up and get through life. i love you guys, dont worry. i will always support and help you guys eventhough i pretty well suck. i'll try my best till the day my life ends, dont worry.

currently in dewei's house watching some movies. well, today school was pretty okay. had innovations day. stalls were set up. bought using pathetic $1 coupon. so little, unreasonable arh. tomorrow doom's day. getting report book & i wish i could drop dead this instant so i would not be able to collect it. ah well, dream on.

love, nas[:

2009-05-27T19:23:00.005+08:00

well, didnt blogged yesterday since i went to nad's house till 11pm. we have some *ahem* important issues to be dicussed about. and i guess things are getting pretty okay now. *smiles* today had maths, studied. then chem, crossword. finished it and eventually fell asleep. really slept, dreamt someone pulled my hair & i my hand kinda jerked. funny. then had SS, pretty fun. played games. won chocs, hehe. then had recess, didnt ate. no space. then head for physics. boring electrostatic thingy. then had CD. went comp lab and played everything we want. watched them play hotel626. speaking about that, i feel like playing now. tomorrow's innovations day & friday's report book collection. DIE DIE.

still worried, still depressed.

God, just end my life to stop this stress.

im getting everyone into harm.

i hate my actions cause everything i do affects the people around me.

nas suck, nas such a fcuking loser, ok.

love, nas[:

2009-05-25T19:59:00.005+08:00

uhm well, today school was pretty boring. had physics, learnt electrostatic thingy. then was PE. forgotten today had PE, so didnt wore. sat down and eventually got bored so kick balls with arun. then head for MT but no MT so went to class. did crossword. kinda fun. then went to recess. then was maths. practiced A maths. then was english. went through paper, boring man. then went to fish & co. dunno why i keep craving for it. slacked at my block's playground. talked cock and went home. ah well, tomorrow's school ending at 8pm. sheesh.

i didnt mean to get so close, and share what we did.

love, nas[:

2009-05-23T19:33:00.007+08:00

didnt blogged yesterday but basically i had band from 8am to 6pm. yeah, tiring but fun. well, today had band also. scores scores SCORES! so troublesome man. but its ok, i was given the job and so i'll carry it out till next year *smiles* went to buy dw's jeans then head to dw's house. fun fun fun, hehe. nad's room is a playroom, dw's room is a sleeping room. *laughs*

The best thing about me is you.
To the world you might be one person, but to me you might be the world.
Every time you look at me and see me smiling, just know that I am thinking of you.
When we're together or when we're apart, you're first in my thoughts and first in my heart.

love, nas[:

2009-05-21T21:21:00.003+08:00

went to fish and co. ate, get student's card. went under dewei's block. chatted and suddenly my mind wandered off. thought and thought deep and suddenly my F.I attitude came back. frustrating to the max. didnt felt like talking, laughing, looking and even answer their calls despite them shaking me. took the opportunity to do something asshole-y when XJ & DW went up and J was sleeping. was caught. being consoled. cried, and thats just unlike me. nas, you're such a loser despite reminding you you're not. i still think, deep in my heart im really am a loser than anybody else. stupid stupid ass, grr. thanks junaidah, dewei and xianjing for comforting me. i really do appreciate it. but i seriously cant share with you guys my problems because i dont like to watch people worrying about my problem and i rather moan it to myself and God, obviously. you guys dont worry. i'll be fine, i guess. and thanks to xj for chatting with me. first time, and i really do enjoyed it.

love, nas[:

2009-05-20T21:39:00.004+08:00

i just dont feel like i do belong in 3e1. all my core subjects mainly pure physics, pure chemistry and a maths paper marks really rock. (im being sarcastic if you cant see through me) i felt like giving up and bursting into tears in class, but whats the use anyway? picked myself up and just went through school, feeling miserable though. gave my friends the F.I attitude. sorry guys. tomorrow another day of horror. come on, criticise my pathetic marks all you want, cause when i say i give a damn about it, i do. but then again, now i dont give a shit about it anymore. so yeah. so much for trying and studying my best. sigh nas, you just proved that you really do suck. just a major form of loser. yeah, the big tub of loser. what do you expect?

love, nas[:

2009-05-19T19:40:00.003+08:00

well, band was not that tiring as yesterday. met xj and head to whitesands. slacked under mine & nad's block. then was hornying and we all were laughing non stop. i love my clique, really. hehe. alright, tomorrow's the moment of truth. RESULTS! kill me please~

love, nas[:

2009-05-18T20:10:00.002+08:00

haix today is a miserable miserable day. first had band. was being remarked sarcastically many times. i get so fed-up, really. then went to whitesands. ate, library. and something happened. then everything went well. and now i found out my phone bill is being terminated. cant message nor call. oh well, at least mom could pay up my overdue bills finish and i can get my new touchphone alr. HEHE.

love, nas[:

2009-05-17T14:49:00.002+08:00

well, i'm apologising to sakina, yufa & zhixuan for not being able to follow them to ETP today.
but yesterday i had an enjoyable time going out with the doods. played soccer for awhile under jun's block and then head to tampines 1. so much people there made my head dizzy. went back to whitesands, watched dw eat. then went to library, watched dw read. then walked home via fishpond park. something embarassing happened, will not disclose. *laughs*